Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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