who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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