I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
