do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
