maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize