It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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