He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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