That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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