You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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