is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
