They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize