I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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