saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
