I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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