Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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