went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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