I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
