I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize