I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
