new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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