Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
