you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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