i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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