that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Couch. On fire.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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