Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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