I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
how drunk are you?
Several
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
