Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
