During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
