Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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