From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The uberlube is also flammable
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
