i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
