your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
