im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
