I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
