ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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