what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
