I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
