I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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