Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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