Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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