Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
