Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
