For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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