he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize