My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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