Where did you get a picture of my penis
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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