Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
