She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
