Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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