You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
