he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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