He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
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I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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