You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Randomize