I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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