he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
