where am i from again
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
