i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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