Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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