im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
