The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
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The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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