What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
