My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
