I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
