Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
