You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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