i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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