I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
