I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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